What Does Active Listening to Students Look and Sound Like?
Active listening is a critical skill for educators and is an important aspect of building strong relationships with students. Active listening involves identifying and naming students' thoughts and feelings, restating or paraphrasing what they have shared, accepting their emotions, and reasserting boundaries. This approach allows educators to empower students to solve their own problems while setting boundaries that are acceptable to them. In this article, we will explore what active listening to students looks and sounds like, and provide examples to help teachers develop this essential skill.
Active Listening to students
Active listening involves
Identifying and naming thoughts and feelings
Restating or paraphrasing some of what was shared
Accepting feelings and re-asserting boundaries
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Let’s take the previous example of the worried student.
When she says: “I don’t know what to do about the test that’s coming next week, even though I study for your tests, I always do badly because you always give such difficult tests”
You could identify and name her feelings (Strategy #1) by saying: “Sounds like you are worried about the next test and feel hopeless because you didn’t do as well as you wished in previous tests, even though you studied for them.”
The student might then respond with: “Yes, the tests are so hard and I always bomb them, even though I swear that I study for them!”
To which you could respond with an empathic “Hmmm… I see.” or an empathic “That’s gotta be tough” (Short Acknowledgment).
The student might then say: “It is! It’s like all my effort goes to nothing and I just want to give up”.
You can paraphrase what they just shared by saying: “Sounds like you just want to give up as putting in effort doesn’t lead to the results you were hoping for” (Strategy #2).
The student might respond with: “Exactly! it’s useless!”
You can respond by accepting her feelings and gently redirecting the conversation towards empowering the student to solve her own problem within boundaries that are acceptable to you (Strategy #3).
You can say: “I get how frustrating and demoralizing it is to put effort into studying for a test and to earn a grade you’re unhappy with. I would probably feel the same. I also get the desire to just give up. “And with that, “I believe in you and your ability to succeed in the class.”
Notice that you are showing the student that you are fully accepting her emotional experience. That will send her a message that you care. It will also make it easier for her to hear the next part of the sentence, and to be willing to brainstorm possible solutions to the situation with you.
“While I’m not ready to change my expectations or my assessment, I’m wondering if you’re open to brainstorming how we can help you succeed”.
Notice also that that response uses inclusive language by strategically using the pronoun “we”.
Example #1
Scenario - You’ve put students in stations to learn about the Civil War
Student: This stuff is boring!
Teacher: Sounds like you’re not interested in what we’re doing now. Tell me more.
Student: I just can’t get into it. I’m trying to read these paragraphs but they are so dense and the information doesn’t even make sense
Teacher: You’re trying to understand what you’re reading and it’s not making any sense. That’s got to be frustrating and boring at the same time
Student: Yeh, can I just do something else now?
Teacher: You really wish you didn’t have to do this
Student: Yep. Do I have to?
Teacher: Sounds like you would like me to make that decision for you
Student: I mean, I know I’m supposed to… I just need some help
Teacher: You need some help, tell me more…
Note: Many new teachers believe that if a student is saying “That’s so boring” this becomes their problem to deal with. It only becomes your problem to deal with if it interferes with your teaching. If many students said it and started to crack jokes with each other and interrupt the other students, then it becomes your problem to own.
Example #2
You’ve assigned students to groups to work on a project together and one student insists on working alone.
Student: Can I just work by myself?
Teacher: You want to work by yourself, can you share more about that?
Student: I just work better alone
Teacher: Sounds like you feel more comfortable being by yourself
Student: Yes.
Teacher: Uh ah
Student: So can I?
Teacher: Before I can tell you whether you can’t or not, I’d like to understand a bit more about why you want to work by yourself. What’s hard about working with others?
Student: No one in this class likes me
Teacher: Oh, you’re upset because you think no one likes you
Student: They don’t. Tom made fun of me the other day and Jenny thinks I’m stupid
Teacher: You’re angry and hurt by some of the things that Tom and Jenny said to you
Student: Yes! And I don’t feel safe working with them
Teacher: You feel unsafe working with them. Thanks for letting me know. It’s important to me that people feel safe in this class. Tell you what, we’ll address the situations with Tom and Jenny after class. For now, let’s find a group that feels safe for you to work with…
Example #3
A student is putting their head down on their desk and slowly falls asleep. After giving directions for a self-directed task to the class, the teacher approaches the student’s desks gently taps them on their shoulders, and says…,
Teacher: I notice your head is on the table, can you tell me more about why that is? [Invitation to share more]
Student: uh, oh, Sorry, sorry, (waking up), my bad.
Teacher: You feel bad for having your head on the table
Student: Yeh, I didn’t mean it, I’m just really tired
Teacher: Sounds like you’re exhausted. Can you share more about that?
Student: Just didn’t get much sleep last night, it’s nothing personal, I like your class, I’m just tired
Teacher: You are worried that I’ll think you don’t like my class
Student: Yeh, but it’s not that, I’m just tired is all
Teacher: I hear that. Do you think you can stay alert in class now?
Student: Yes
Teacher: Great, ask one of your peers what we’re working on now, and if you have any questions, let me know.
In summary, active listening can be a valuable skill for teachers to cultivate. By taking the time to listen actively to their students, teachers can create a classroom environment that is more supportive, inclusive, and engaging for everyone involved. Ultimately, active listening can help teachers and students work together to create a more positive and successful learning experience.
I delve deeper into this concept in my book.